Clairelouise82’s Weblog

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MEN SAY! WOMEN SAY!

Men says… Want to come back to my place?
Women says… Will both of us fit under the one rock?

men says….your place or mine?
women say… both- you go to yours and I’ll go to mine!

men say…Whats you sign?
Women say… No Entry!

Men say…You know I like an intelligent woman.
women say…..Yeah I heard opposites attract.

Men say… Want to suck it?
women say… No I choke on small bones.

Men say….Haven’t I seen you before?
Women says….. Oh yes I’m the receptionist from the VD clinic.

Men say…. Am I the first man you ever made love to?
Women say…. um you might be- your face looks familiar.

Wanna read more?
Get the hot book-The best Dirty girl’s joke book ever. Fab and only £7.99

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Filed under: Just for fun, , , , , , , , , ,

PAY BACK FOR GIRLS

One for the girls:) Guys read if you dare.

Come on girls! We have all been there. Sat in a bar with our friends’ enjoying our evening when…… Yes along comes that guy! You know the one? Full of charm (well he likes to think so) To much hair gel, pint in one hand fag in the other. Really bad chat up lines and a mouth full of **** Now I see you nodding:) Well good news next time you find yourself in that oh to familiar situation wack out on of these killer putdowns and just sit back and watch them walk away with there tails between there legs.

If my dog looked like you, I’d shave it’s bum and train it to walk backwards.

Save your breath mate- you’ll need it to blow up your girlfriend.

Man- “Will you miss me?”
Woman- Why don’t you go away and we’ll find out!

Man- I bet your a vigin.
Woman- You’re right- because not all men are as ugly as you!

Just because you have a prick doesn’t mean you have to act like one!

Why not chat up someone your own size like the QE2.

Where did you meet your last girlfriend? Battersea dogs home?

Tell me everything you know.
I have 20 seconds to spare!

Woman- Whats the best position to make an ugly baby?
Man- I don’t know.
Woman- well, call your mum, because she certainly does.

You know you have the body of a god- Buddha

Sorry I’m really not your type- I’m not inflatable.

Filed under: Just for fun, , , , , , , , , ,

Lets talk about sex!

Let’s talk about sex………..
Sorry boys if it’s porn your after your in the wrong place. This is all about sex pure sex!
In this day & age women are a lot more open in the way they talk about sex. Maybe it’s all thanks to sex in the city or maybe it’s solely because times are moving on. At the age of 26 I’m not saying I’m the big expert. Who is???
I’m just pointing out like most of todays women I really don’t have a problem openly talking about it. I enjoy Reading and sex learning more about sex.
If it’s that you fell you could do with some impovment, tips, inspiration, re-energize your sex life or just for pure entertainment this really could be a book for you. And yes I do own this book LOL.
As always Ann summers does it again. This top read is named Re-energise your sex life. It’s gives u 52 brilliant ideas to put the zing back into your love making.
Written by Elisabeth Wilson this book has it all covered. Starting at the top Stop having sex and going on to cover a array off subjects…Talking dirty, blow jobs, dressing up, tantric sex and much more. And the best bit if you have a idea that is not covered they will pay u £50 if it makes print. So lets have it.

Filed under: relationships, sex, , , , , , , , , , , ,